Language warning. Anger warning.

Guess the FUCK what?
She is going back to her fucking ex girlfriend!
I waited five FUCKING years, got one week, and her ex wins yet a-fucking-gain.

I'm going to be sick.

I feel the biggest fool.
I feel like I can't breathe. Like, my chest is compressing so hard and squeezing my heart so tight that there is no way I can ever use it again.

HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU BROKEN MY FUCKING HEART?
I shoulda seen this coming anyway. I just let myself believe it was finally my turn.

Making pathetic excuses for all of this does not help at all.
I am so fucking angry. Moreover, I am so fucking upset.

Please nobody tell me it's my fault, no-one say 'I told you so'.
I did the right thing, I refused to be with her while she was with N.
I DID THE RIGHT THING.
N has fucked her over more times than I can remember, cheated on her, left her for their friend, told her she hated her, been a complete bitch to her, ETC.
What have I ever done to her?

I've already taken too many painkillers. Don't worry, I'm not gonna go overdosing and ending up in hospital.

She just texted asking for my address so she can mail me the money for the hotel we stayed in last night that I paid for.

This fucking hurts.