My last night out.

I have no idea how to even blog about this. Where do I start?

I met L yesterday. It was so awkward.
We had arranged to meet at Starbucks at 5pm. But, I got caught in traffic, and ended up getting there almost twenty minutes late. We had absolutely nothing to talk about, and I simply did not want to be there. I did most of the talking, babbling on about shit, just to fill the horribly long silences. I couldn't even look her in the eye. Thankfully, she brought [some of] my stuff. I'm going to just forget about the things she didn't bring. When we left 'bucks, she stood by my car while I got her things for her and then continued to stand there after I'd given them to her. I said "Okay, well, I'm sure I'll talk to you soon... bye" and got into the car. I was not going to hug her, and I was most definitely not going to offer her a lift home, but it seemed like that was what she was hanging around for.
The second I drove away I felt single for the first time since we broke up.
She sent a text not twenty minutes later saying "Hey, thanks for meeting me. I'm sure you didn't want to. It was good to see you x".
I replied a few hours later saying "No problem. Take care."

I wish my entry could end here. Unfortunately, there is more drama.

Last night, I went out for my 'last night out' with my two best friends before I leave. We went to a gay night at a club in the city. We were having a great time, I was tipsy before we even got there, and the music was brill.
Then, B texted to say she was coming over to 'say goodbye'. I asked her not to, but turned out it was too late, she was already there. I ran to the bathroom and locked myself in a cubicle. I sent a text to one of my friends and told her I was not leaving the cubicle until B was away. I did not want to see her, not there, not then. This was supposed to be my night out with my girls.
So my friends went looking for her, to ask her to leave, to please not do this to me, but they couldn't find her. Meanwhile, I was still locked in the toilet cubicle, shaking and on the verge of crying. B texted to say "I'm in the smoking area, please come out for two minutes."
So I did.
My friends stood at the other side of the courtyard and watched to see I was okay, but went back inside once I let them know it was alright to do so. I went over to her and said quietly, "What are you doing here?"
She said, "I just wanted to say goodbye."
I could barely look at her. I had nothing left to say to her, we've been round and round in circles. She knows how I feel. There is a part of me that will always keep her in one tiny fragment of my being, but I don't love her anymore, and I am not letting myself fall back there again. It's taken me too long to get to this point, I've worked too hard and pushed myself time and time again, so that I could lift my head again and get back on my feet.

After half an hour of her begging, "Please, I love you. I am so in love with you" I just wanted to get back to my friends (my straight friends who were in the gay club for my sake).
She kept hugging me and more than once went in to try and kiss me.
Each time I moved away and eventually I had to say "Don't. Just don't, okay?"
She would say "Okay, I'll fuck off then" and I just kept my head down. Then she'd walk away a little distance, stop, and come back. She did this about three times.
It got to the point where I really wanted to be alone, but she would not leave.
She said "Tell me to go, and I'll go."
So, I said quietly "Go" but of course she didn't.
In the end, I stood up, said "I'm sorry but I just can't do this. Goodbye."
And I walked away.

I walked back into the club, I went to the bar and bought a round of drinks for my friends (who were on their way to look for me as it happens), and we danced, laughed, took photographs and drank until our ride home arrived.

Of course, B was texting constantly even after I walked away, but I've heard nothing from her today.

Two exes in one day, it was a little too much for me.
I don't feel that I owe anything to B or L.
Was I a bitch?