Feeling lonely.

I really, really wish she would text me.
I know, it's better I don't see her, I really do know this. But I physically ache for her.
I am finding this so difficult.
I don't know in what state things are between us right now, and that is possibly the hardest thing, not knowing.
I'm constantly thinking about July 8th. All the joking and banter, flirting and messing around. But behind all the jokes about which cot we'd pick for our children, and which sofa we'd pick for our living room, I could feel that it could be real. I wanted it to be real. She was right, people probably did think we were a lesbian couple, picking out things for our new house, and whilst I laughed at this, inside I loved the thought of that.

I'm trying so hard not to think of her. Everyone's advice is the same - I'm better having some space away from her, but it's just so fucking hard.
I don't want space, I want her!

She's going away tomorrow. God knows when I'll next see her, or even speak to her.
There's got to be somebody else out there feeling the same? Please tell me how to deal with this, I cannot do it.