Stalking?

So, today was my last day off work, back tomorrow unfortunately.
I got up around half 1, just as the rest of my family left to go to a show.
I was delighted as this left me at home alone, to go online and just not have them annoying me and being on top of me.
I slowly got showered and dressed, I had to force myself to clean myself up, as I looked like shit. Barely slept or eaten in a week. When I felt like I couldn't feel any lower, I went to pick up the mail, and the T&S CD [This Business of Art] I ordered weeks ago was there! This cheered me up, and I literally skipped all the way back over to play it.
I went into town to deliver a card, and couldn't face coming home, so I drove around and around town, with the windows down and my new CD at volume 22.
Then I saw her - the girl I see quite a lot. She works in Tesco, and anytime I go in looking crap, she's there, but anytime I make an effort to look decent, she's not there.
Anyway, she was with a friend, and as I drove past them (the second time), her friend looked back and glanced in at me, hehe.

Last night, I was out for a walk with my best friend around the city. Love doing that, because during shopping hours the city is crazy and you can't move, but at night it's empty and lovely to walk around. Anyway, we came across the square and these two girls were walking in front of us, holding hands, being all touchy feely, etc. And it literally made my heart lift and sink at the same time. It made me so happy to see them being so openly 'together', especially when they stopped to kiss. But then I got so sad, knowing I can never be like that, never walk around holding a girl's hand for fear of someone seeing us.

I want to move away, across the water. This double life is killing me.