Coping.

I am coping.
I have surprised even myself with this knowledge.
After all the shit that went down with B, I went completely under. I refuse to let that happen again, so I am keeping busy, and going online less (and staying off Facebook and Twitter entirely, can't put myself through seeing what she's up to).

Yesterday, as soon as I got home from work, I got on my mountain bike and cycled for about five miles. I thought my muscles were on fire; I haven't cycled in years! I didn't realise how uneven the roads were here, nor how much of this area was hilly. I came back for dinner, then went with my two brothers and two dogs to the beach. After we got back up home I got my watercolours out and worked on my travelling journal (1001 Journals), checked my e-mails, and went to bed to read.

Today, on my stupidly long lunch break from work, I took a walk around the park. After work, I grabbed some dinner, then headed into town. I got some groceries, then went for a power walk around the town, with an upbeat playlist on my iPod. It felt good! Although, I had to break into a sprint for the last five minutes, as a creepy man was following me. I spotted him about fifteen minutes before, acting suspiciously on his bicycle, hanging around. I had to cut up a lane up the side of some shops to get back to my car, and I knew he was going to follow me, even though it would mean turning back on himself. Sure enough, I looked back and he was a fair distance behind me. I casually tried to make it look like I had planned to start jogging (then sprinting), and as I got closer to my car I fumbled for the key in my pocket. He was really gaining on me, and my heart was pounding (I knew it wasn't just from running, there's a different kind of heart-racing, don't you think?). I cursed my damn central locking for being broken, but finally got into the car and mashed down the locks. He wheeled right past my window, staring in at me!
I decided to follow him for a bit, feeling safe inside my car. He was still looking dodgy, just cycling down streets, looking out for anything that moved, then crossing over and coming back up the same street again.
It was getting close to 10pm by this time, and I knew I had things to do once I got home, so I headed home.

Got home, started into making tomorrow night's dinner (4 bean chili, it's really good, if I may say so myself!), and then made my lunch for tomorrow as well.

I'm trying to eat healthily, and do more exercise (doing 'more' isn't difficult, considering I did none before), to lose some weight before uni.

Keeping busy is really helping me, it keeps my mind off the fact that my future plans have been washed away. Don't get me wrong, I'm still hurting, and even cried in Tesco earlier when a song came on that reminded me of L (I may be a dyke, but I'm still human!), but I'm definitely doing better than I thought I would be.